NewZoid Headlines

	"The Most Work of Art on the Net."* - Daniel Young
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	NewZoid WORLD'S #1 SOURCE OF FALSE HEADLINES SINCE 2001 PROGRAMMED ART FOR OUR TIMES " "

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Simplest Instruction: MORE HEADLINES? CLICK THIS!

Thanks toYahoo for making NewZoid a Pick of the Day for 9/25/02 and for listing NewZoid under Entertainment > Humor > Parody > News --- (even though it's really philosophy & fine art.)

*(fictional footnote) Based on certification by the International Commission on Subjective Artistic Claims that NewZoid produces a more continuous, more novel and more interesting flow of coherent artistic effects than any other artwork on the Net. (back to top)

----- LATEST HEADLINES -----

Bush Urges Congress To Renew War On Philly Cop Beating

Al Qaeda In Iraq Leader Not Arrested In N.J. On Its Soil

Juno Star Lead MTV Film Shortlist

UN Hits At Least Five Times

Clinton Failed To Pass On Bail

Hezbollah Gunmen Take Over Allegations

Customers Investigate Severed Bear Paws Found In Calif.

UN Lost Homes In Katrina Wins $97 Million

Pets On Killed In Afghanistan Clash

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US Surpassing $1 Billion In Online Pizza Sales

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Deadly Tornado Holds Confidence Vote

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Panel: Phone Charge

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Ill. Man Convicted Murderer Shot Hikers On Child Sex Charges

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Foxy Brown Guilty Of Rework 'Confrontational' MLK Statue

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Superbad Pages To Play Jane Eyre

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Mich. Dems Use Of Pot Can Lead To Dependency, Mental Illness

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Myanmar Helps Officer Nab Shoplifting Suspect

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Facebook, States Probe Claims Soldiers Abused Afghan Prisoners

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Myanmar Plans Wireless Broadband Network

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Man Who Suspending Burma Aid Flights

WRITE YOUR OWN HEADLINES - This allows you to influence

NewZoid headlines. First, write up to 5 headlines below. The more the better! Or repeat the same headline 5 times. Then, click the "M" for More. Subsequent cycles (not all) will show headlines weirdly related to yours (identified by !!!, for your eyes only.) This keeps going until you clear your headlines with the "Clear" button below. No record of any part of your writing is ever kept by NewZoid.

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WRITING TIPS: Use classic headline style. It works best. For example, Cain Kills Abel In Fit Of Rage, or ... Einstein Discovers Secrets Of Universe, or... Smith Falls In Love With Jones. NewZoid Headlines that relate to yours are easy to spot - they are identified by !!! They cannot be voted on as Best Of Yesterday and cannot be seen by others unless you choose to send them. They may not appear in every cycle but they are worth looking for. Good Luck!

"LIGHT UP THE SKY." - On August 30, 2004 all citizens who wish to end the Bush presidency can use light as a metaphor. See, www.lightupthesky.org

RAVE REVIEW! "Strange, disturbing, but full of humor, relevance and wit." - Mark Peters Read this perceptive language observer's deep critical appreciation of NewZoid in Pulplit.

MORE HEADLINES? CLICK THIS!

HOW TO VOTE: 1.Click circle. 2. Click "Vote." --- [Winners are Best Of Yesterday for a day. Then they enter the Archive.] --- For a raw file of All Today's Voted Headlines CLICK HERE ! It has lots of goodies and it exposes ballot stuffing. Use your Back button to return to NewZoid.

WRITE NEWZOID! GO BELOW to join in the manipulation of news and reality. It's fun! It's art! It's essential!

DECONSTRUCT NEWZOID (OR GET REAL NEWS) Enter NewZoid headline words or phrases in Google's news search engine. But don't get trapped in reality. Come back!

SEND HEADLINES to kindred spirits with the blue "S."

WANTED: Critics who are willing to write about NewZoid. Contact Young.

NOTE: Quantum turbulence may sometimes cause incoherence or interference with particular headlines. This is normal.

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