var ADJS = [
"Advanced",
"Ambitious",
"Amusing",
"Artful",
"Attractive",
"Authentic",
"Automatic",
"Avant-garde",
"Beneficial",
"Bizarre",
"Byzantine",
"Coherent",
"Comforting",
"Contemporary",
"Cool",
"Creative",
"Curious",
"Delicious",
"Detached",
"Encouraging",
"Enjoyable",
"Enthusiastic",
"Exaggerated",
"Existential",
"Expressive",
"Freudian",
"Friendly",
"Frivolous",
"Futuristic",
"Generous",
"Generous",
"Healthy",
"Healthy",
"Heraclitian",
"Humane",
"Imaginative",
"Immodest",
"Important",
"Innovative",
"Insightful",
"Jungian",
"Literary",
"Lovable",
"Machiavellian",
"Mature",
"Misunderstood",
"Modest",
"Noble",
"Objective",
"Olympian",
"Omnivorous",
"Openminded",
"Oracular",
"Philanthropic",
"Philosophical",
"Profound",
"Prolific",
"Promethean",
"Protean",
"Rablaisian",
"Realistic",
"Reassuring",
"Reliable",
"Rewarding",
"Scholarly",
"Selfless",
"Seminal",
"Shakespearean",
"Subversive",
"Swiftian",
"Therapeutic",
"Thoughtful",
"Timeless",
"Uncategorizable",
"Understandable",
"Universal",
"Unpredictable",
"Valuable",
"Virtuous"];

var SLOGANS = ["Aleatory News Headlines",
"Aleatory Infogenesis",
"All Possible News",
"All The News That Can Be",
"All The News That's Fit To Fake",
"All The News That's Fit To Fabricate",
"All The News That's Fit To Falsify",
"All Other News Is Stale",
"All Other News Is Old",
"All Other News Is Obsolete",
"Always New News",
"Always Unreliable",
"Antidotal Headline Program",
"Antidotal News Program",
"ARTFUL INFOTAINMENT ad infinitum",
"Artistic Headlines",
"Authentic Manufactured News",
"Automatic Headline Program",
"Beyond The News",
"Beyond The News Horizon",
"Bohric Quantum Headlines",
"Cloned News",
"Cosmic Alternative Headlines",
"Countless Worlds",
"Countless Headlines",
"Designer Headlines",
"Discombobulating Headlines",
"Disorienting Headlines",
"Endless Headlines",
"Endless News From Infinite Worlds",
"Ersatz News",
"Ersatz Headlines",
"Everett Many World Headlines",
"Extreme Headlines",
"Fighting News With News",
"Headline Permutations",
"Headline Desensitization System",
"Headline Art",
"Headline Anxiety Relief",
"Headlines For Information Addicts",
"Headlines For The Illuminati",
"Headlines For People Who Hate Headlines",
"Headlines For People Who Hate News",
"Headlines For People Who Love Headlines",
"Headlines Beyond Your Wildest Dreams",
"Headlines For The Cognoscenti",
"Headlines Ad Nauseum",
"Headlines From Out of This World",
"Headlines From A Zillion Worlds",
"Headlines From A Trillion Worlds",
"Headlines From Beyond The Event Horizon",
"Headlines From Out of This World",
"Headlines You Cannot Possibly Use",
"Headlines From Many Worlds",
"Headlines from Parallel Worlds",
"Headlines From Beyond The Event Horizon",
"Headlines From Innumerable Worlds",
"Headlines As A New Art Form",
"Headlines As Design Art",
"Headlines Ad Infinitum",
"Headlines Art",
"Headlines From More Than A Billion Worlds",
"Heisenbergian News Headlines",
"Hyperdimensional Headlines",
"Hyperreal Headlines",
"Impossible News",
"Impossible Headlines",
"Improved News Headlines",
"Ineffable Headlines",
"Inevitable Headlines",
"Infinitely Inapplicable News",
"Infogenesis",
"Information Anxiety Relief",
"Information Desensitization System",
"Information Ad Absurdum",
"Informative Surrealism",
"Interworld Manufactured News",
"Manufactured Headlines",
"Many Worlds",
"Many Headlines",
"Maximized Headlines",
"Maximized News",
"Maximum Headlines",
"Mutational News",
"Nano News Is Good News",
"Never The Same",
"Never The Same Thrice",
"Never The Same Twice",
"New And Improved News",
"New News",
"New",
"Newsier",
"Newsiest",
"New News Is Good News",
"New And Improved News",
"News For The Illuminati",
"News For Information Addicts",
"News For People Who Hate News",
"News From Beyond The Event Horizon",
"News Desensitization System",
"News For The Cognoscenti",
"News Permutations",
"News That Can’t Be Controlled",
"News Beyond Your Wildest Dreams",
"News From Out of This World",
"News From A Zillion Worlds",
"News From More Than A Trillion Worlds",
"News Anxiety Relief",
"News As A New Art Form",
"News Art",
"News To Chase The Blues",
"News To Amuse",
"News You Cannot Possibly Use",
"News From More Than A Billion Worlds",
"News Ad Infinitum",
"News From Innumerable Worlds",
"News As A New Art Form",
"News As Desgn Art",
"News Ad Nauseum",
"No End To It",
"Non-Euclidean Headlines",
"Nothing Is Farther Out",
"Nothing Could Be Further Out",
"Nothing Is Further Out",
"Nothing Could Be Farther Out",
"Optimized Headlines",
"Optimized News",
"Original News Headlines",
"Out Of This World Headlines",
"Out Of This World News",
"Paleo-Scientific News",
"Paleo-Scientific Headlines",
"Parallel World Information",
"Parallel World Headlines",
"Parallel World News",
"Permanently New News",
"Possible News",
"Possible Headlines",
"Probable News",
"Probable Headlines",
"Pseudo News Headlines",
"Quantum Infogenesis",
"Quantum Probabilistic News",
"Quantum Probabilistic Headlines",
"Quantumized Headlines",
"Recombinant Headlines",
"Schrodingerian Headlines",
"Science Fiction Headlines",
"Superstring Headlines",
"Supersynthetic Headlines",
"Surreal Headlines",
"Synthetic Headlines",
"The New Form of News",
"The Tao Of News",
"The Art Of News Creation",
"The Antidote To News",
"Theoretical News",
"Theoretical Headlines",
"Totally Useless News",
"Ultimate Headlines",
"Unbelievable News",
"Uncontrollable News",
"Uncontrollable Headlines",
"Virtual Omniscience",
"Way Beyond The News",
"What News Will Be",
"Wheelerian Headlines",
"Worlds Of News"];

function random(int)
{	
	return Math.round((Math.random() * (int-1)));
}

function getRandom(array)
{	
	var rand = random(array.length);	
	return array[rand];	
}

function slogan()
{	
	document.write(getRandom(SLOGANS));
}

function adj()
{	
	document.write(getRandom(ADJS));
}

function getString(date) 
{

  var date = new Date();	

  var months = new Array("Jan", "Feb", "Mar", "Apr","May","Jun","July","Aug","Sep","Oct","Nov","Dec");

  return date.getDate() + " " + months[date.getMonth()] + ". " + ((date.getFullYear() < 100) ? "19" : "") + date.getFullYear() +

			"<br>" + get12HrTime(date);

}

function get12HrTime(date) 
{

	var tempHours = date.getHours();

	var meridian = " AM";

	if (tempHours == 0)
	{
	
		meridian = " AM";

		tempHours = 12;

	}
	else 
	{
		if (tempHours == 12)
		{
			meridian = " PM";
		}							
		else
		 {

			if (tempHours > 12) 
			{
				meridian = " PM";

				tempHours -= 12;

			}
		}  
	}

	 var minutes = "00" + date.getMinutes();

	 minutes  = minutes.substring(minutes.length -2, 4);

	return tempHours  + ":" + minutes + meridian;
}