NewZoid Headlines

	"The Most Work of Art on the Net."* - Daniel Young
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Simplest Instruction: MORE HEADLINES? CLICK THIS!

Thanks toYahoo for making NewZoid a Pick of the Day for 9/25/02 and for listing NewZoid under Entertainment > Humor > Parody > News --- (even though it's really philosophy & fine art.)

*(fictional footnote) Based on certification by the International Commission on Subjective Artistic Claims that NewZoid produces a more continuous, more novel and more interesting flow of coherent artistic effects than any other artwork on the Net. (back to top)

----- LATEST HEADLINES -----

Hurricane Bertha Sanctions On Nuclear Accord

New US Nuclear Weakens To Category 2

Church Of England Need Time To Stabilize After Bomb

Ark. Suspect Faces In The White House As Oasis

Pakistan Police Nixed CDC Report Testimony

Russia Endorses Greenhouse Gas Cuts, But Details Are Few

Nickelback Tell Verbose Lawyer To Make It Snappy

Chertoff Surveys Mo. Gored In YouTube Videos

EU Backs Female Bishops

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Acupuncture 'No Sue Psych Ward For $25M In Zimbabwe

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G8 To Sell One Million Albums

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Nielsen: TV Wanted Climate Testimony Cut

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Crazy Cat That Needed Action, Not Words From AMD To Intel Chips

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Nat's Expand Its Response To Hosted Software

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Iran Admits Cash Chaos

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Judge To Bush Admin.: Guantanamo Causes Alarm, But No Injuries

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South African Bails For Funeral Songs

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Haywire Brain Chemical Going Bust, Owes Millions

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FDA Attacked In Town Mocked In Watched-death Case

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G-8 Warns Over Leak

WRITE YOUR OWN HEADLINES - This allows you to influence

NewZoid headlines. First, write up to 5 headlines below. The more the better! Or repeat the same headline 5 times. Then, click the "M" for More. Subsequent cycles (not all) will show headlines weirdly related to yours (identified by !!!, for your eyes only.) This keeps going until you clear your headlines with the "Clear" button below. No record of any part of your writing is ever kept by NewZoid.

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WRITING TIPS: Use classic headline style. It works best. For example, Cain Kills Abel In Fit Of Rage, or ... Einstein Discovers Secrets Of Universe, or... Smith Falls In Love With Jones. NewZoid Headlines that relate to yours are easy to spot - they are identified by !!! They cannot be voted on as Best Of Yesterday and cannot be seen by others unless you choose to send them. They may not appear in every cycle but they are worth looking for. Good Luck!

"LIGHT UP THE SKY." - On August 30, 2004 all citizens who wish to end the Bush presidency can use light as a metaphor. See, www.lightupthesky.org

RAVE REVIEW! "Strange, disturbing, but full of humor, relevance and wit." - Mark Peters Read this perceptive language observer's deep critical appreciation of NewZoid in Pulplit.

MORE HEADLINES? CLICK THIS!

HOW TO VOTE: 1.Click circle. 2. Click "Vote." --- [Winners are Best Of Yesterday for a day. Then they enter the Archive.] --- For a raw file of All Today's Voted Headlines CLICK HERE ! It has lots of goodies and it exposes ballot stuffing. Use your Back button to return to NewZoid.

WRITE NEWZOID! GO BELOW to join in the manipulation of news and reality. It's fun! It's art! It's essential!

DECONSTRUCT NEWZOID (OR GET REAL NEWS) Enter NewZoid headline words or phrases in Google's news search engine. But don't get trapped in reality. Come back!

SEND HEADLINES to kindred spirits with the blue "S."

WANTED: Critics who are willing to write about NewZoid. Contact Young.

NOTE: Quantum turbulence may sometimes cause incoherence or interference with particular headlines. This is normal.

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