*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/1/2003 ***
Refried Beans Pleading Guilty To Bribery Charges
U.S. Nuns Trigger Hong Kong Panic
Matsui Kills 4 In Major League Debut
Gunmen Complain About Motion Sickness
Recycling Mixes Loud Rock, Word Of Garbage Collectors
Refried Beans Feared Dead In Iraq
NBC's Peter Arnett Ordered To Give Back 'Stolen' Public Toilet
Snowstorm May Be Linked To 4 Others
Martha Stewart Jumping To Death -Police Source
'Late Show' Host Letterman Shoots At Restaurant After He Was Refused Curly Fries
U.S. Blasts Injures 12 Children
Hijacker Of Cuban Plane Takes Another Victim
U.S. Expels Top Iraqi Diplomat
ImClone Disappoints And Stocks Fall.
Boosting Protein Asks Saddam To Step Down.
Cisco Forming New Memory Company.
NL May Rattle Videogame Sector.
U.S. Holds Up Millionaire Trial.
Racism, Abuse Say Dissidents Can Be Prosecuted.
Let Cutting Use Of Antibiotics In 1990s.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/2/2003 ***
Tamil Tigers To Buy Clayton Homes
Low-Income Homes Give Up Toilet To Help Rebuild City Walls
Congressional Panels Welcome 'Great' News Of Bull Sperm Stolen
More Women Could Benefit More Than 2 Million Women, Study Says
U.S. Takes Ratings Crown
White House Arrested For War
Sperm Ripped Apart
Four Journalists Saying Post-War Iraq Will Be Run By Reducing Follow-up Procedures
Top Court Advances To Within 20 Miles Of Deadly Flu
Rare Colossal Squid Losing Another Member
Dude! Found Near Baghdad
Irons, Judd To Buy Clayton Homes.
Smoking Quarantine Of Jet In Afghanistan.
No One Ill After SARS Scare On Racial Preferences.
Fish In Diet Continuing Amid Rising Concerns.
Missile Silo Have Cover Blown.
Eurostocks May Help Failing Hearts.
Piazza's Suspension Provoking Worry In Older Americans.
Cold War Nuclear Bunkers For Directv.
Drug Office Wraps Rangers Keep Playoff Hopes Alive.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/3/2003 ***
U.S. Forces Invade Gaza Refugee Camp
Breast Business To Stop U.S. Troops
Actor Jim Carrey's Ex-Wife Found Near Baghdad
ANALYSIS: Chemical Weapons Unlikely Could Help Make People Thin
Mexican Police Found Near Baghdad
Tensions High After Tiny Gains
Rare Colossal Squid Pounded Taliban Holdouts
NBA Unveil Latest Spaceship
Southern Baghdad Set Record High Office Vacancy Rate
Scientist: Fat Flies Gets $1.75 Million From Funeral
Morgan Stanley Seeks More Child Support
Israel Heads South From Baghdad, Toward U.S. Forces
Breast Business Offers Iraqi Minister Asylum
Asia Pneumonia Outbreak Described Parachuting Into Iraq After Philippine Bombing
U.S. Special Forces Ate Or Handled Wild Game
Southern Baghdad Found Near Baghdad
'Harry Potter' Warns Iraq War Will Fuel Extremism
Congress Recalled Due To Choking Hazard
Russia Shot In Iraq
Sperm Seized Key Bridges On Path to SARS



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/4/2003 ***
Dude! Speeding Elephant...
Gephardt Sneezes: Tourism Hit
When China Coughs, The World Sets to Watch
International Say Heart Stays Loving Toward Cruise
Christian Peace Activist Accused Of Harassing Model Schiffer Getting Psychiatric Treatment
Jewish And Arab Families Marry After Living Together For Bio-Attack, Survey Finds
Polar Bear 'Stressed Out By CBS Employees
Nation Resumes Trials Of Circumcision
When China Coughs, The World Controlled By CBS Employees
When China Coughs, The World Launches Virus Manhunt As Cathay Cuts
Network Apologizes For Poor Handling Of Circumcision
Spanish Oil Firm Isolates Three Canadian Children For White House Bid
Government Workers Across France Swap Kidneys
Battle For Baghdad Signs Second Book Deal
Bush, Blair Swaps Kidneys
Israeli Rally In Support Of Circumcision
U.S. Journalist Michael Kelly Investigating Gnome Reports In Iraq
Gore Vidal Besieges Website Of Circumcision
Cancer Rates Allocates Money For Practical Joke.
British Troops To Review 27 Death Penalty Cases.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/5/2003 ***
Japanese Defense Minister Seizes Nativity Scene Made Of Long-awaited Holocaust Memorial
Report: U.S., North Korea Gave Polar Bear Sore Head
Gore Vidal Recovers Stolen Dali Painting
U.S. Begins Construction Of Baghdad
ChevronTexaco Willing To Start Installing Postwar Iraq Administration
Man Scouring Sahara Desert For Chicken Deaths
Bush Hiring Strippers
Michael Wayne, Son Of Actor John Wayne, Combating Spread Of Virginia Woman, Children
Bush Rise As Virus Cases, Deaths Rise
Gore Vidal Blames Vampire For Busy Vicars
Cathedral Condoms Tighten Grip
Couple Boost International Space Station's Orbit.
Research In Mull Legality Of SARS, Seeks Better Reporting.
US Runs With Lions And Son Of Bagdad, Tasmania.
Battle And Ambushed With Lynch In Iraq.
Britain Held Working Level Talks.
Doctors Warning Of Pre-emptive Attack.
Bush Exile Targeted By Daily Stress.
Red Cross Sheds Light On Why Cloning So Often Fails.
U.S. Troops In Heart Of Cocaine.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/6/2003 ***
University Under Investigation After Wanting To Deliver Sweets To Baghdad's Children
'Central Park Jogger' Upsets Priest
Sophie Dahl, Granddaughter Of Roald, Dislocates Shoulder In Iraq
Late-night Comedians Investigating 6 Suspicious Deaths
Ellsworth Kelly Exhibit In Washington Delivers Nice Change From SARS Virus
U.N. Threatens To Form Guerrilla Army
Turkey Strikes In Iraq
Pope Runs With Lions And Son Of Stromboli
Wedding Bells Explain Lennon-McCartney Vs. McCartney-Lennon
Remains Saying Number Of Wounded In Iraq Too High to Nassiriya
Cathedral Condoms Set For Missing Tourists
Judge Hires Sacked Arnett For NCAA Title.
Former Mourn First U.S. Servicewoman Killed In Spring Snow.
Police Seeing Link Between Virtue, Delusion.
EU Struggles To Reform Islam's Image At 68.
University Under Investigation After Gathering To Mourn Soldiers.
'Phone Booth' Asks Eric Alterman.
Family, Tribe Miss America Official Wins Summary Judgment.
Kansas And Syracuse Explains Lennon-McCartney Vs. McCartney-Lennon.
Crowe Wraps Royals Off To Best Ever Start After Win.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/7/2003 ***
Late-night Comedians Moving Into Baghdad; Iraqis Fight Back
Calvin Klein Killed In Iraq
Iraqi Opposition Leader Opens 'Hanky Panky' Sex School
Supreme Court Convicted Of Cheating
Bush Aide Arrested After Scissor Attack On Iraq
Fat Flies Discovered Around Jupiter
Mooning Rugby Player Seriously Canceled
Breast-Fed Infants Blitz Into Northern Iraqi Town
IRS To Create Iraqi Govt.
WHO Recounts Bout With Herpes Virus
Masters Driving Range Puts Up Saddam Billboard As Sheriff's Deputy
High Court Hurts When Police Fire Rubber Bullets At Pompeii
AL Combating Spread Of Rays
New Nose The Prize For Iraq War Summit
Cameron Diaz Linked To Behavior Problems In Iraq
U.S. Storms Baghdad, Wins Pritzker Architecture Prize
U.N. Shuts Down After War
Condoleezza Rice Corrects Homeless Man's $6 Million Tax Bill
WHO Blooms Dies In Chief
Porno Sites Winning Pritzker Architecture Prize



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/8/2003 ***
Mystery Virus Reaches Geomagnetic North Pole
Iraqi Domestic Television Off Air In Egyptian Tombs
Australian Pleased With Herpes Virus
CORRECTED: Asian Cellular Firms Annoy U.S. Muslim Group With Herpes Virus
Conditions 'Terrible' In Philip Morris Case
NY Sentenced To Up To 27 Years In Baghdad
Terror Threat Launches Posh Noodle
W. House To Lay Off Husband's Penis
Mystery Virus Bids For SARS Virus
West Hollywood Linked To Earlier Puberty
Parents Unaware As Baby Sets Fire to Library
April Snowstorm Turns The Screw On Iraq
Pneumonia Not A Disease Of Cats
Bush Escapes Iraqi Custody
Parish, Worthy Spreading In Healthy Men.
British Troops Looting Follows Liberation.
Report: Linked To Behavior Problems In Egyptian Tombs.
North-South Korea Talks Cheated.
Hospital Spreads In Baghdad.
Former French Oil Exec Riots Exposes Gangs' Brutality.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/9/2003 ***
Saddam Probably Found Detractors And Defenders
Bush, Blair Regret Journalist Deaths, Cites Warning
Former Jodeci Singers Released From Orbiting Station
Americans, In Thousands, Released From Orbiting Station
Nuns May Put Baby To Sleep On Surveillance Cameras
Pope Recommended For Kids In Iraq
British Court Reaffirms Embryo Screening Arrests 2 Al-Qaida Suspects
Pentagon OKs Bill To Strengthen Presidential Power
UK Transsexuals Face Political Challenge In Sahara Desert
Iraq Having Quality Of Life On Par With Tampa Bay
Winona Ryder Wins Second Pulitzer Prize
N.C. High Court Sitting Raises Obesity Risk, Study Finds
Winona Ryder Damaged In Shoplifting Case
German Professors Injure 20
Serb Police Undergo Brain Surgery
UK Transsexuals Accused Of Selling Celebrity Data In Schools
Iraqis Dance On Saddam Statue To Cost Trillions
Murdoch To Be Buried In Congo
NY Kill 10 Children In Anti-Illiteracy Campaign.
Woods Damaged In Northern Italy.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/10/2003 ***
Mortgage Rates Rise In Iraq
Restaurants To Help Double Sales In Iraq
U.S. Seeks To Ban Political Smirks
Nokia, Axa, Roche Die At War
Events In Baghdad Leave Job
Cloned Sheep Dolly, Now Meeting With Destruction As Baghdad Fell - Report
Australia Finds Apparent Torture Chamber In British Sept. 11 Memorial
U.S. Forces Concede 'The Game Is Over'
Kate Hepburn Kills 28 Children
British Puppy Sealing $6.6 Billion DirecTV Deal
Cloned Sheep Dolly, Now Hitting Western Turkey, 100 Hurt
Feel-Good Brain Chemical Protests War In Iraq
Cloned Sheep Dolly, Now Attacked Arab Fighters In Baghdad
Muslim Recalls Son's Drowning In London
Toppled Statue Passes Gun Lawsuit Immunity Bill
Toppled Statue Reaches Deal With Brown's Grand Slam
U.N. Beats Official Over Padres
Kate Hepburn Hits Western Turkey, 100 Hurt
U.N. Questions Linger As Iraq War Appears Near End
Renowned Japanese Composer Maki Ishii Will Take Control Of Kirkuk



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/11/2003 ***
Actor Sean Penn's Car Stolen In Tehran
Powell Collapses Over Cop's Computer Use
Cuba Wants U.N. To Have Central Role In Broad Daylight
Kurds Show Growing Impatience
House Cuts Xbox Europe Price, U.S. Seen Next
Iraqi Opposition Says TV Show Will Mock Rural Americans
Microsoft Tries To Forge Interim Order
In Heart Of Baghdad, Marines Cut Royalty Rates To Woo Game Developers
Castro Agents Helped Spread Brain Disease
Serena Adopting Chinese Infants
Arab World Studied For Hot Flashes
Scientists Scuffle For Hot Flashes
Douglas, Zeta-Jones Spread In Broad Daylight
Actor Sean Penn's Car Stolen In Nassiriya Tuesday
Bush Completes Sentencing Convicted Dissidents
Big Money For Final Warning Of SARS.
Come Rain Or Slice Assistant On Iraq War Money.
Boycott As Equality Issues Grim N.Irish Prognosis.
Trade Deficit Breaks Down.
Study: Cannibalism Awarding Vote Michael W. Smith Top Gospel Artist.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/12/2003 ***
Bush Orders Brothel To Refund Sex Bill
El Aynaoui Finances Chiefs Call For UN Action On Dog Urine Lamppost Checks
Bush Votes Heavily In Iraq
Israel To Get Reality Check
'Dr. Chaos' Awarded $6,000 For Hair Loss
Ex-FBI Agent Ransacked Baghdad's Antiquities Museum
Smelly Feet Man Surrenders, U.S. Tackles Anarchy
Smelly Feet Man Sees Celebrations, Not Anarchy, Sweeping Iraq
Syria Is Spectacular In May
Mexican Officers Moved To Stop Baghdad Looting
U.S. Managing A Few Laughs
Harry Potter Pioneers Islamic Investing
U.S. Olympic Committee Says Saddened By Sex?
Smelly Feet Man Dies At Home
'Dr. Chaos' Meets Homer Simpson
Smelly Feet Man Says Russia Will Keep ISS Project On Dog Urine Lamppost Checks
Putin Says Saddened By Sex?
Weapons Lab Official May Not Fit Frail Elderly.
Bush: Saddam 'No Longer In Power,' War Works On Checkout For Safety Violations.
Consumers To Give Away 'Zelda' With Multibillion-Dollar Deals.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/13/2003 ***
Looters Thank U.S. For Future
Castro Counts Votes In Crucial Test Of Pot
No More Hot Meals On Domestic Agenda
Court Sends Bush $79 Billion For Hair Loss
Colin Powell: Iraqis Accuses U.S. Of Pot
Web Site For Iraqi Minister Says DuPont Withheld Risk Of Pot
Glastonbury Fan Wins Leading Ballet Roles
Broadway Dancer Vera Zorina Takes On Some Hong Kong Flights
Congress Pushes For Arts Funding
Congress To Review Treatment For Hot Flashes
D'oh! British PM Blair Says Not Time For U.S. Accusations On Hollywood
Armed Men Fearing SARS
Bioethicists Found Alive As SARS Death Toll Mounts
Looters Found Safe In L.A.
War Rocks Cyberspace
Bioethicists Lower State Of Alert On Playing Fields
Hundreds Found Safe And Well In Iraq
Life In Baghdad May Not Fit Frail Elderly
Looters Will Choose Their Leaders, Not U.S.
In Some, Throat Lynching In New York.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/14/2003 ***
Experimental Test Denies Having Chemical Weapons, Saddam Link
Judge Uses Urine To Escape From Adult-onset Diabetes
Sharon: Israel Would Hit With GameCube
Kashmir's Forests, Wildlife Collapsing
Man Hid Money In Creme Egg
Bush, Rumsfeld: May Cut Kids' Asthma Drug Usage
Hungover Norwegian Pupils Is Chaotic And Funny
Nintendo Takes Advantage Of Tikrit
Cable News Outlets Are Chaotic And Funny
Families Awarded $6,000 For Hot Flashes
Mafia Not Too Found In Dreadlocks
Webcam Injured When CNN Crew Takes Fire
Mystery Virus Heading To Cell Phones, Mobile Devices
Monica Lewinsky Tames Tiger
Farmers Make Pleas For Sex
Blair To Host Dating Reality Show
Cable News Outlets Put Live Chickens In Iraq Govt.
'South Park' Creators Call On U.S. To Protect Iraqi Shiite Leaders
L.A. Police Take Lead In Nigerian Elections; Violence Leaves More Than 2 Dozen Dead
Imaging Cameras Take Last Saddam Bastion, Turns Heat On Syria



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/15/2003 ***
New York's Subway Suckers Find Heroin Molded Into Furniture
Monica Lewinsky Says Up To Syria To Prove It Is No Rogue
Human Genome Completely Killed
Notebook Used In Moon Seeing N.Korea Talks; Paper Sees Trouble
Bush, Rumsfeld: Strip For Smothers Brothers
Bush Recreates Nude Scene As Birthday Gift For Iraq Talks May 2-3
China Recreates Nude Scene As Birthday Gift For Smothers Brothers
Mom-To-Be's Drinking Thanks To Luck...And Hand-Washing
Peruvian Gourd Profits Rise
Hostage Stew Coming Off The Menu In Hong Kong
Selfish Parasites Ask For A $550 Billion Tax Cut
Chinese Leaders To Get First Lesbian Kiss
Ferreira Turns Germ Warfare Kit Into House
David Duke Slamming SUV Into House
U.S. Troops Post Profit, Investors Relieved
NYC Mayor Admits Trying To Aid Doctor's Killer
Competition Builds In Probe Of Deadly Nightclub Fire.
Modesto Police Recreating Nude Scene As Birthday Gift For Fortuyn Murder.
Bush Administration Ratchets To Stay In Arizona.
Tobey Maguire, Viggo Mortensen Wrap: Expos Down Mets, Sweep Puerto Rico Series.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/16/2003 ***
Former Chilean Secret Police Chief Claiming TV Fee Breaches Human Rights
Disney Reveals Ancient Andean Religion
Bush Resorting To Memory Tonics
Fat People Backing Middle Eastern WMD-Free Zone
OPEC Finds Herself Ugly
Wachovia Intensifies Search For PlayStation Games
Bush Steals Fortune, Leaves Less Than Pill
Bush Suggests Changes In Obtaining Consent Before Invasive Surgery
WHO Turns Germ Warfare Kit Into House
U.S. Plans To Sell Angels To Moreno -- Sources
Israeli Forces Tell U.S. To Stop Threatening Syria
Coke Glows Is One Big Boast, Study Finds
Singapore Could Be Renamed For Iraq War
Hospital Operator HCA Says Mammogram Pain Not That Bad: Study
New Lawyer For Sale
U.N. Rights Body Ups On Strong Profit
Blue Tested By War In Baghdad
Ten Nations Offer A Whiff Of Mass Destruction
Four To Take Action Against Junk Email.
NL Win Libel Payout From Bulgarian Russian Roulette.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/17/2003 ***
U.S. Resigns Over Iraq Museum Looting
AMD Ending As Jordan Ends His Career, Again
Rampant Wild Boar Offers A Whiff Of Federal Taxes
Miss Nude World Pageant Praised Near-completion Of Ancient Rome
Afghans Questioning Value Of Peru Glacier
Menopause Avoids Bankruptcy
West Nile Virus Warning Of Federal Taxes
TV Chef Moves to Iraq
World Officials Fire Coach Van Breda Kolff
Tommy Lee Saying Gangs Behind Some Iraqi Museum Looting
U.S. Troops To Include Steven Soderbergh, Meg Ryan
Rampant Wild Boar Stops Zoo Looters, Except Lions
420-pound Man Kills 60 Florida Manatees
The Beastie Boys Eye Presidency
Giant Turtle Training First Airline Pilots How To Use Guns
Eccentric Britain Gets Squeezable Bottom
China To Close 21 Stores
Rampant Wild Boar Says Iraqis Could Have Slipped Into Syria
Iraq Building Lousy View
Former Nigerian Strongman Buhari Suggests Noise Affects Brain Development



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/18/2003 ***
Rampant Wild Boar Shot Dead In Bed
Penis-Numbing Condom Recalled
Serena Williams Stops Zoo Looters, Except Lions
One In Five Europeans Suffer Stroke
Anti-War Protesters Aiming To Curb Violent Game Sales
Drug Makers Spread In Iraq
Anglophile Philanthropist Getty Studying Sexual Misconduct At 72
Giant Turtle Trying Again
Pope May Not Get Adequate Care
Former Nigerian Strongman Buhari Will Distinguish SARS From Sorcerer's Home.
White Supremacist Asks For Probe Into Courtrooms.
Rampant Wild Boar Knew About Terror Level, Few Made Plans.
First Class Of Reaches Plea Agreement In Bed.
Fear Of To Merge Factory Systems Units.
SARS Cooks Scorpion Dish For Workers.
Americans Peak Will Be Renamed For Soldier Killed In Iraq.
Eleven Rare Pandas Issuing First Recommendations to Glitch.
Washington State Hunts 'Strange And Clean Burglar'.
Researchers Wrap: Cubs Rout Reds As Sosa Closes In On Protesters.
UN Inspectors Meets On Iraq As Sanctions Row Brews.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/19/2003 ***
Penis-Numbing Condom Postponed
Harvard Student Escaped From Sorcerer's Home
U.S. Culture Advisers Escape From Sorcerer's Home
420-pound Man To Star In Minnesota Mauling
Rampant Wild Boar May Predict Human Cases
Pope Presides Over Iraq Museum Looting
'Bulletproof Monk' Riddled With SARS
Death Gets Death Threat
Ancient DNA Is America's Next Military Move?
Obasanjo, Earthy Nigerian President, Prays For Victims Of Plutonium
Pope Unveils Private Spaceflight Program
Ancient DNA Said To Show Recent Saddam Appearance
Nigerian Presidential Selling 'Poo' Good Luck Charms
Ivory Coast's Army Surrenders To U.S. Forces
Israeli Archaeologists Cook Scorpion Dish For Iraq
Nigeria Is Mighty Funny
Xerox Charged With Cliches
'A Mighty Wind' Linked To Other Birth Defects
Nigeria Sells 'Poo' Good Luck Charms
Giant Turtle Burned Trying 'Jackass' Stunt



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/20/2003 ***
Air-India Rocked By Corrs Fans
Marine Commander Marks Holy Season By Reflecting On Arming Pilots
Pope Detained Released
Yemeni Man Retains Marbles World Title
Penis-Numbing Condom Commemorated
U.S. Sparks Nuclear Attack Fears
Syria, Egypt Leaders Experience Drug-Related Injuries
Nothing Linked To Bird Flu Virus
Giant Turtle Detained, Released
U.S. Celebrates Easter In Thin Trading
French Champagne Promise To Restore Basic Services
Iraqis Found In China
Penis-Numbing Condom Detained
Surgery Technique Could Take Five Years
Business Suffers Stroke
Thugs Die At Missionary Hospital
Landslide May Not Help Chronic Gut Pain
High Blood Pressure In Pregnancy Celebrated In Iraq
Holy Week 'Baths' Custom Kills At Missionary Hospital
EU's Patten Drowns In Iraq.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/21/2003 ***
Queen Elizabeth II Quietly Eyes Presidency
Bone Marrow Cells Struggle To Save Stranded Whales
Businessman Eyes Presidency
Laughing Gas Abuse May Be Worth Watching - Barron's
Mother To Stop Bunnies Behaving Badly
Science Fiction Fans Discovered Near St. Louis
Bush Wants To Be Your Wife'
'I Say He Won't Quit Even When He's 64
U.S. Astronaut Wins Boston Marathon
Ancient Village Burned Trying 'Jackass' Stunt
Supreme Court Hoping To Win Marbles Title
Families Are Hot Property
Science Fiction Fans Linked To Chronic Daily Headache: Study
White House Posting Loss, Sales Fall 30 Percent
Supreme Court Profits Rises
Man Dies In London
U.S. Ambassador To Greet Nevada Biker Rally
Snoring Surfacing, FBI Says
'Belligerent' Canadian Hosts 6th Annual Tiger Jam Concert For The Dying
Azerbaijani President Prepared To Send Troops to Harvard



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/22/2003 ***
American CEO Discovers That Flies Can Fly!
Supreme Court Bites Police Dog'
Sprinter Carl Lewis Elected First Chief Prosecutor Of War Crimes Tribunal
Ancient Village Surrendering After World War II
Man Saved Money
Calif. Man Saves Money
Spurs, Pacers Routed In Seattle
'Man Rebuked For Three Days
Texas Murder Suspect Says He Won't Quit Even When He's 64
Ancient Iraqi City Opening Egg Roll To Children Of Troops
Gunmen Posting Strong Revenue
Iraqi Shi'ites, Some Blood-Soaked, Regulate Teens' Trips To Tanning Salon
America's Oldest Person Vetoes Classroom Obscenity Provision
Russian Minister Bites Dog
Supreme Court To Have Prostate Surgery
Sharpton Bites Police Dog'
White House Regulates Teens' Trips To Tanning Salon
Scientists Are Living Longer Than Ever Before
Arafat, Abbas Look At American Indian Ceremonies
Ancient Gladiators Agree To Hear Case On Rights



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/23/2003 ***
Bush Gives Chimpanzee Cry
Mother Teresa And The Pope Mask As People Flee SARS-Hit Beijing
Iraqi Shi'ites Show Their Strength With Steamroller
Beijing Saying Power Golf Paving The Way For Violent Imagery
Lifestyle Insists It's Art
Veteran War Correspondents Say Saddam Likely Still In China
EMI, Universal Pirated CDs Crushed With New York Building Workers
Pop Stars Hold Nuclear Talks In Iraq
30 Dead Tigers Fled Beijing In Fear Of Cholera, Typhoid
Attorneys Found At Sikh Temple
Attorneys Advised To Avoid Beijing, Toronto
U.S. Abandons Plan For Fat People
Frank Quattrone Hit With Steamroller
Gephardt Amazing Story Of Concocting Poison Slush
Escapologist Walks Backwards Around Lake Falls In
Pop Stars Hold 4 More Key Iraqis, Shi'ites Show Power
Shanghai Approved For Violent Imagery
U.S. Gives Chimpanzee Cry
Pop Stars Are Too Violent
Librarians Try To Rob Shop At NATO



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/24/2003 ***
People Bomb Explode In Baghdad
U.S. Is Too Violent
U.S. Officials May Harbor Harmful Molds
Suicide Bomber Says He Has No Plans For Reality Show
Bush Admin. Questioned In Prostitute Deaths
Iran May Get Death Penalty
Bioterror Calls Peace 'Gift From Iraq
Report Kills Handler At Michigan Nuclear Plant
Barry Manilow Agreeing On Rampage, Shed Clothes
Cancer-Survivor Dog Looking At Contraceptive, Herpes Risk In Family
Suicide Bomb Linked With Stray Bullet
New Serb Leader Puts Nazi Doctors Under Microscope
Ranks Of Armed Poses Nude In Answer to Swell
Sheep Want Action, Not Talk, On Sargasso Sea
Judge Has Oral Sex At Israeli Train Station
Teen-Ager Sentenced For Kiss
Tourist With Pet Chicken Says It Has Nuclear Weapons
Male Hula Dancers Are Back, But Weaker
New Zealander With SARS In Reed Raft Adventure.
Japanese Report Progress On Child Support.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/25/2003 ***
Wrinkly Rockers Discover First New Vitamin In 55 Years
Newspapers Are Back, But Weaker
Male Hula Dancers Upset Regional Peace-Seoul FM
Armed Hijacker Getting Music-humanitarian Award
Schwarzenegger Calls For U.S. Pressure On Sargasso Sea
Space Program Sentenced For Smuggling Migrants to Profit
Women With Degrees More Likely Arrested For 'Sex Act In Fast Food Restaurant'
N.Korea Nuclear Revelations Sold As Sole Pupil Stays Home
Topless Berliners Open World's First Hydrogen Fuel Station
Former N.Y. Mayor Giuliani Blasts Levels Toronto Strip Mall; 7 Presumed Dead
Dow Corning Arrested For 'Sex Act In Fast Food Restaurant'
Bomb Can Develop Dangerous Heart Condition -Study
Prominent Shiite Cleric Thought Wearing Lingerie Made Shoplifting Undetectable
Smallest School Claim To Have Seized Sudan State Capital
New Jersey Woman Sentenced To Jail For Rebuilding Ground Zero
Dixie Chicks Receive Jail Sentence
Troops Reduce Diarrhea In April
France Wants To Be Barbecued
Powell Seen Rebounding In U.S. Chip Plant
U.S. Diplomats To Make Video Game Debut



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/26/2003 ***
Pope Nominated To Command Atlantic Fleet
Dixie Chicks Driving Mississippi Death Row Inmates Insane, Lawsuit Says
Lawyers May Be Man's Oldest Ancestors
Earthquake Shocks As 'Chicken Lays Goose-sized Egg'
Madonna Fights SARS As Death Toll Rises
With American On Board, Russian Rocket Taking Pet Chicken For Space Station
Sex To Replace Air Bags In Fed Cup
Turkey Dies After Battle With 20,000 Twinkling Lights
U.S. Court Deciding How To Describe Iraq War
Polish Premier Shocks As 'Chicken Lays Goose-sized Egg'
Arms Have Brain Infection
Sex Up After Beer
O.J. Simpson Wants To Be Barbecued
Commentator Andy Rooney Is Utterly Absorbing
'It Proves Inconsistent
Turkey Wants To Be Barbecued
Male Body Buried In Older Women
Sex Adorned With Space Exploration
Mother, Son Pose Nude In Answer to NRA
Study Charged In Controversial Texas Drug Sting.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/27/2003 ***
500 Naked Listed As New Dentures
Saddam Lookalikes Shot
Heston Dies In Wagon Accident In Mideast
U.N. May Seek U.N. Sanctions Against Women
Eerie Silence In Hollywood As 'Chicken Lays Goose-sized Egg'
Flexibility Dies After Beer
Good Kids Die After Beer
Don't Pose Nude In Answer to Final
Saddam Setting May Wedding Date
Saddam Lookalikes Planned
Bush Pitches 1st No-Hitter Of Baghdad
Israel Wins Spanish Love Letter Contest
Saddam Held Telethon For Iraq
S.African Doctors Steal Paintings By Van Gogh, Picasso, Gauguin In Baghdad
U.S. Defense Secretary Receives Life Sentence In Pakistan For Fraud, Theft
Eiffel Tower Fled Ivory Coast As War Ends
Powell: U.S. Delays Annual Reports.
Sony Closes Public Entertainment Venues To Curtail SARS.
Rumsfeld To Discuss Injury Prevention.
American Air Considers Dropping Toronto Travel Warning.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/28/2003 ***
Iraqi Liaison Poses Nude In Answer to Troops
Nudity In Antarctica
'Will & Discuss Formation Of Aiding Al-Qaida
WHO Overtakes Queen In 2002
Army Pimping Sexual Coercion
Plumbers Disrupting Sporting Calendar
NASA Cuts Prices On Ten Commandments
Supreme Court Launches Fight Against Spam
Winnie Mandela Telling U.S. Saddam Alive In China
Arafat's Group Launches Online Music Service
Popular Comeback Pimping Sexual Coercion
Poet Laureates Reach $1.4 Billion Settlement
Supermarket Tabloid Says U.S. To Reduce Forces In Taiwan
Couple Relieving Stranded U.S.-Russian Space Crew
Last Rally To Beat Roddick.
Baghdad 'Mayor' Hurt In Ambush In Runoff.
Arab Nations To Celebrate On Broadband Growth.
NRA Seeks Probe Of Abusing Human Rights.
Canada Leadership Favorite Flies In Netherlands Over Iraq.
Williams Sisters Want To Be Barbecued.



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/29/2003 ***
Circumcision To Pay $3 Billion To Families Of Universe
Libations, Libidos Paired Again In Saddam's Wake
U.N. Unites Against Spam
Diana Says United States Not Threatening Syria
Supermarket Tabloid Declines To Send Observer To Baghdad Meeting
Circumcision Gets TV Job Offer
Bush Gets TV Job Offer
U.S. To Pull Most Troops From Killing Ants
Audacious Burglar Suggests Migratory Birds May Have Better Long-term Memory
U.S. Said To Be In Syria
Bush Captured After Stroll Through New York City Park
Grasshopper Accused Of Piloting Helicopter Without License
Woman Getting Reprieve From Saudi Arabia
Bush Resigns Over Smart Sex Article
Powell To Damage Sperm Quality
13 Iraqis Killed 13 Iraqi Protesters
Alleged Midlevel Al-Qaida Develop Colony Of Mass Destruction
U.S. Warms Up With Cruise Ship Threat
Man, Nude And Thirsty, Causing Branch Toronto Cancellation
U.S. Skating Veteran Stojko Comes Out Of Sex Slavery



*** NewZoid Best of Day Headlines for 4/30/2003 ***
Frustrated Shoppers Up 8 Percent, Analysts Say
Media To Damage Sperm Quality
Judge Charged With Taping Women At 94
U.S. Says Big Brother Is 'Useless And Parasitical'
EMC Retracts Testimony About Bomb Threat Against U.S. Base In Apparent Murder-suicide
Saudis Bring Dead Grandfather To Wedding In Apparent Murder-suicide
Powell, Mideast Leaders Up Urinary Incontinence Risk
Coca-Cola Ups Urinary Incontinence Risk
People Magazine Bringing Dead Grandfather To Wedding In Germany
Coca-Cola Says Iraqi Borders Must Be Sealed To Stop Looting
Rumsfeld In Baghdad, Suggests Migratory Birds May Have Better Long-term Memory
Report Dies At 94
Domestic Diva Has Concerns
U.S. Needs Oxygen After Getting Finger Stuck Down Sink Unit
Ozzy Osbourne's Son Bring Dead Grandfather To Wedding In Apparent Murder-suicide
Estee Lauder Sanction Move Could Trigger War
Jerry Falwell Convicted Of Conspiring With 'Swastika' Robots
Priest Combining New, Old Mystery Elements
Fresh From War, Bush Holds 'Jazz Funeral' For SARS Stay-At-Homes
Low-Fat-Diet Guru Accepts Responsibility For Misappropriated Groove